I still wanna know

Though I spent my earliest years in Hong Kong, most of my formative years were spent in Staten Island.  It was prime suburbia, and our modest townhouse was tucked away in a small cul-de-sac.  If there was one token of my life on Staten Island, it was all the greenery.  Our town of Arden was nestled next to a line of forests, creatively named, "Woods of Arden".  

I remember exploring the woods, finding different pathways and memorizing the markers - the singular burnt out car, a worn grave marker, logs rolled into a circle by teenagers looking to create a rustic living room.  Sitting on the logs, I can recall thinking could life be any different from this?

And of course, it would be very different.  I've traded woods for skyscrapers, folksy neighbors for faceless young professionals.  I've lived in hotels for extended periods, where people knew my name only via the swipe of a credit card.  I don't think I'm any closer to understanding what is the right way, my way, to live.

New York City offers some solace in opening a voyeuristic window to lives unlived; the sheer diversity offers suggestions, glimpses of the possibility.  It also confuses things, a tyranny of choice.

I spend a sizable amount of time wandering; more often then not, I realize that I end up in a park or some patch of greenery.  My legs know to echo my mind, and return to some familiar pattern in order to consider whats next.

Rac, Rivers Cuomo, Goldroom - I Still Wanna Know (Goldroom Remix).